It can be uncomfortable, but open conversations regarding healthy relationships and sex are important. Not sure how to start the conversation or what to say? You’re not alone! These four questions and thoughts might help you open the conversation with a trusted adult:

ARE YOU IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP?

It’s important to understand that the most important sex-related question to ask yourself isn’t “Do I want to have sex?” or “Am I in love?” A healthy relationship is fundamental to sexual safety and there are several keys to a healthy relationship to pay attention to, like respect, consent, balanced roles, freedom and boundaries.

ARE YOU REALLY READY?

Maybe you want to. Maybe you don’t know if you should. Maybe you don’t know where to start. Here are some things to consider:

• Do you have a trusted partner? One that makes you feel physically and emotionally safe?
• Have you and your partner discussed the consequences and responsibilities that come with having sex?
• Are you ready to become sexually active because YOU really want to?

IT’S OK TO NOT BE READY.

It’s OK not to know when it’s the “right time” to have sex or become involved in a sexual relationship. There is no certain age or magical time when you have to have sex. You’re always able to say “yes” or “no” to any sexual activity, at any point. Learn more about consent.

YOU’RE REALLY READY. NOW WHAT?

You’ve decided you’re in a healthy relationship. You’ve decided you’re ready for sexual activity. And you know that not being sexually active is a-OK.  Do you know where and how to access birth control and other forms of protection? You can find free condoms here or talk to your local Public Health Department, pharmacist, or school nurse.

Now what?

Well, you need to know medically accurate sexual health information. Teenage pregnancy is a risk and STIs are real. So, ask a trusted adult, parent, your doctor, or your school nurse.

If you’re looking for online resources about other teen topics check out Teenshealth.org or whatsok.org

Questions you can ask yourself and your partner about your relationship

• Does your partner consistently show respect for themselves? How?
• Does your partner consistently show respect for others? How?
• What are some signs of an unhealthy relationship?
• What would you do if you were in an unhealthy relationship?
• Have you and your partner ever talked about sexually transmitted infections (STIs)?
• Have you and your partner ever talked about birth control or other forms of protection (contraceptives)?
• How do you think a pregnancy would affect your life and future plans?